Dear Widowed Me,
“Community CC&Rs require that each owner shall maintain his or her lot in a manner consistent with the Community-Wide Standard. The Perfect-Families-Community homeowners association has been noted your yard as inconsistent with the CC&Rs. If you do not bring your yard into compliance within 30 days, a fine will be applied to your account.”
Sincerely, People Who Aren’t Me
I admit, my yard is … er … a little unkempt these days. And frankly, I expected this little love note from my HOA months ago.
Perhaps they thought they’d be mailing a “you-cannot-run-down-the-street-naked-and-screaming-no-matter-how-much-your-life-falls-apart” notice first. If I was in their stealthy shoes, I would have waited, too. And considering the mental picture of my unrestrained parts – and after watching the naked man on the hood of a truck on the news – I am eternally grateful that my descent into grief-induced catatonia managed to evade the point of no return.
I live in a comfortable house on a comfortable corner lot in a sleepy neighborhood. And because I have a corner lot I am required to have more plants, trees and shrubs than the comfortable lots that are not on corners in my sleepy neighborhood. And the list of approved and acceptable vegetation is surprisingly lush and hardy.
Despite the fact that my comfortable corner lot is in the middle of the desert. And an irrigation system that hasn’t worked in a year.
In four years, my yard has been trimmed exactly six times. The first was the week our world stopped turning. For an entire week their assignment was us, their squadmate’s family. Like silent sentinels they were there, running errands, gathering belongings, cleaning work lockers and sharing memories. And I watched them descend on the yard like an army of Edward Scissorhands.
A year later, worn down by the weight of help asked for, I fought to bring the plants I told him I did not want under control. Two days, one plane trip and severe allergic regret later, my head spun in the dark as my kids bounced on the guest room bed in excitement and my friend’s humor floated through the air in an offer of coffee.
Another year. Conversations over hedgetrimmers and leafblowers about the neglect of my yard, both figurative and literal. Six months. A young man motivated by good and the vigor of youth led the effort to replace the leafiest offenders with new life and laughter. A business card in the doorframe before Christmas. Another business card in the doorframe.
And with each tending I see that the yard that I have been left to tend is resilient and eager to bloom, despite the drought and neglect it has endured.
Dear People Who Aren’t Me,
As a follow up to the notice I received regarding the non-compliance of my yard, this letter is to confirm that it is now in compliance and no fee should be applied to my account. I assure you that my yard will be in compliance -- just as soon as I find the right caretaker for the job.
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